Croatoan: Future Legend of the Lost GOP

Listen. Pull the iPod ear buds from your ears long enough to hear the peals of hysteria coming from the Republican Party intending to frighten the slightly rational among us into a fear of encroaching socialism and the wholesale destruction of what they, oblivious to the irony, refer to as the American Way of Life. That sound one hears is the desperation of the last remaining vestige of a once-vital party that once employed minds such as found inside the cranial cavities of men like Abraham Lincoln, William F. Buckley, Jr., and Richard Nixon—and now sadly belonging to minds inhabiting the bloated bodies of such high octane intellectual heavyweights as Karl Rove, Rush Limbaugh, and Newt Gingrich—and it is actually the gasps of a party in its death throws. 

That death rattle signals a coming shift in the landscape of America.  Tea parties given by clueless individuals complaining about taxes when the President they are attacking is responsible for one of the biggest tax cuts for the middle class in American history would be ludicrous if these tea parties did not also serve as a harbinger of doom.  How intensely sad that those taking part in this shamefully misplaced re-enactment of one of the most radically liberal acts in American history do not realize that the taxes they are so manifestly protesting are actually going up only for the elitist bankers and automotive executives and other icons of Big Business who are directly responsible for their anger, wrath, and unemployment checks which are accepted and cashed in a way that reminds one of the way that Sarah Palin and Bobby “Brady” Jindal accept stimulus money while crying out against the socialism of it all.  Well, when it comes to money, even a gun-toting, Toby Keith-loving, NASCAR fanatic is willing to give up on his principles when the Big Business vampires who have put him on the dole have taken the bonus money and run. 

There is an unspoken and unadvertised plank in the Republican Party platform that, like all the other planks, is followed uncritically and without question by all followers left in the carrion that is the GOP.  This plank suggests that when things are going well for America, but not in a way that is ideologically sound to those who have based their outlook on the outmoded political and economic ideals established over a hundred years ago during the Gilded Age that is the considered the high point in American history for these dunderheads, then the finest way to attack is to take their case to the American people and commit with all their intensity and utter lack of concern about the well-being of Americans to a campaign of portraying Democratic leaders as radical communists hellbent on taking away their guns, raising their taxes, and forcing homosexuality upon their children.  And because the Democratic leaders are so spineless, stupid, and disorganized,the Republicans have succeeded in moving these leaders full tilt to the right (wrong) side of the spectrum. 


The Republican Party is attempting to enforce their insane and patently unconstitutional ideology upon America by taking this same route yet again. The difference is striking, however, because in the past the GOP had a moderate wing, and even a slightly liberal wing, that could keep them from overplaying their hand. Today, of course, the Republican Party is simply nothing but ultra right wing maniacs who care nothing for America; who care so little for making America great again that they will do anything to obstruct any effort to bring the country out from the devastation wrought upon it by their own policies and stubborn, rubber-stamped support of the delusion Mr. Bush.  Painted by themselves into a corner from which extrication requires wholesale reinvention and reinvigoration of their party, the GOP has chosen instead to, inexplicably, cling to exactly the very same policies that got them kicked out of the White House and Congress in no uncertain term. 

Here, in a nutshell, is the crux of the argument consistently forward by conservatives. Liberals want to take money away from all of us with taxes and then turn around and give it back to us in the form of social programs.  The Republican Party wants exactly the same thing, but in a slightly different and perverse form.  The GOP wants to give money back to the rich in the insane hope that they will use it in a way that comes back to us.  This is called trickle down theory by some and Voodoo Economics by their current patriarch, George H.W. Bush.  It was the cornerstone of the so-called Reagan Revolution.  It did not work, it has not worked since, and it will never work.  And, of course, they know this.  They know this because the idea that giving money back to the rich through tax cuts will benefit us the way that taxing us and giving back through social programs benefits us is pure insanity.  But, and here’s the thing, giving money back to the rich does benefit the rich.  GOP leaders know this and count on it; clueless gun-toting, Toby Keith-loving NASCAR fanatics are so easy to dupe that they don’t even have to try.  All the GOP leaders must do is laugh at them behind their backs. 

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The GOP is now run by men and women with brains like Sarah Palin, John Boehner, and Michael Steele.  The death shall not be quick, but it is certain.  By choosing to marginalize themselves by being on the wrong side of health care, war, civil rights, immigration, and foreign policy, the Republican Party has unleashed itself upon a mission into the wilderness from which return shall be impossible.  Those in the Democratic Party need not begin to raise champagne glasses in a toast to themselves.  A shift is going to take place in the political landscape in America over the next half century, possibly the next two decades, in which the Republican Party mismanages itself so greatly by choosing to make Rush Limbaugh its de facto leader and Karl Rove its strategic brain.  The movement ever farther to the right in light of the America public’s rejection of the movement by the party to its current ultra-right position can only mean a slow death followed by disappearance and, ultimately, its entry into myth. 

The dream of a third party that can serve to give America, the birthplace of modern democracy, a semblance of the actual democracy that exists in many European countries where voters routinely have a choice from five or six viable political parties, will not be the result of the coming myth of a Republican Party.  This GOP will exist, but only as a sad, pathetic fringe party like the American Socialist Party or the American Nazi Party.  It will shrivel and dwindle, but rats will be rats and they will jump ship.  Not surprisingly, they will be joined by those who have currently, and grudgingly, joined the Democratic Party.  As astounding as it may be to consider, if Richard Nixon were an up and coming politician today holding the very same views he held in the late 1940s, he would today be a Democrat because there is no place on the Republican Party for someone who held many of the progressive views he held.  Hard to believe, I know, but it is true.  The end of the GOP is heralded by the fact that no politician who holds any dreams of making it onto the national platform would ever join the Republicans if he supported abortion rights, or believes that economic reform is more important that holding onto outdated beliefs, or is for even just the slightest bit of gun control.   

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The GOP has made it impossible for any but the most radically right-wing of young political wannabes to enter. Therefore they become Democrats, but they aren’t really Democrats.  They are, they are not of. They are hardly liberal since there only about five actual liberal lawmakers exist in the Democratic Party anymore and none of them possess any real power.  The need has arisen for a party that will moderate views in more than name.  The total flip-flop of the living Ken Doll known as Mitt Romney into a radical right-winger is evidence enough that the GOP will not truck with anyone who doesn’t accept their entire platform hookers, line-snorting coke addicts, and sinking IQs intact.  The new party will replace the Grand Old Party and it will resemble the once far more expansive Republican Party, but it will not be the Republican Party.  What’s that? Yes, Virginia, there used to be a Republican Party. 

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