Dumbest Supermodel Quotes

Perhaps the most infamously dumb and ignorant statement ever made by a supermodel, and goodness knows you could make a billion dollars if dumb supermodel quotes were diamonds, is this one from stupid supermodel extraordinaire Linda Evangelista, who I never even thought was more than plain, by the way: “It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren’t, then I’d be a teacher.”

Yeah, um, Linda…even in that school that little Cadet Bonespur attended as a kid you would have had some major league trouble getting a job as a teacher. You see, being a teacher requires, well, that you possess a brain. Alas, in that respect you are underqualified to be a teacher, although I would not totally give up on the idea of becoming a Principal. Thankfully, of course, you are perfectly qualified to be a supermodel.

Yes, Linda Evangelista proved that models really do not have the single slightest idea what life is like under the terms of reality we have all agreed to sign. And if Ms. Evangelista’s bottomless well of idiocy and ignorance don’t do the trick for you, then perhaps some of these other classic dumb quotes from stupid supermodels will convince you that one supermodel discussing another supermodel’s intelligence is roughly as useful as one Geico caveman discussing another Geico cavemen’s good looks.

“I love the confidence that makeup gives me.”

Said by the amazingly confident Tyra Banks. She must be confident to the point of Dubya-style arrogance to think that she is in any way qualified to give anyone any advice on something other than the application of makeup by an overly qualified makeup stylist. Memo to Tyra: If you have to rely on illuion then you really aren’t experiencing confidence.

“I think most people are curious about what it would be like to be able to meet yourself–it’s eerie.”

A supermodel named Christy Turlington made this truly astonishing statement. I don’t think I’ve ever heard of Christy Turlington, but then again it appears she’s just as unfamiliar with herself as I am.

I’ve looked in the mirror every day for 20 years. It’s the same face.”

Claudia Schiffer. Wasn’t she the supermodel who dated magician David Copperfield? Dang, they must have looked like The Giantess and the Midget at Papa Lazarou’s Pandemonium Carnival. Well, hey, what can you expect from a supermodel who dates David Copperfield? I’m willing to bet, however, that it really hasn’t been the same Claudia Schiffer face every day for twenty years why? Because…

“Everyone should have enough money to get plastic surgery.”

All you gots to do is look at Claudia Schiffer’s creepy Play-Doh facial appearance to know she’s not only got enough money to get plastic surgery, but has had enough time to get a lot done. Beverly Johnson made this wonderful observation. I do not know who she is or what she looks like. Perhaps neither does Christy Turlington.

“We’re not Prince Charles and Princess Di. We don’t think of ourselves as royalty. We happen to be working people.”

Maybe intelligent statements like this is why Christie Brinkley’s husband went looking for someone more intellectually advance; a 17 year old. Could have gone with a three year old dog, apparently.