The Real Reason N. Korea wants a Trump Summit

Trump supporters like to think that his batshit-crazy sabre rattling approach to dealing with North Korea is what bought Kim Jong-Un to the summit table. In this view, Trump’s so-called “plan” of introducing chaos (which is really not a plan at all; he just has zero impulse control, but a gift for saying it was his plan all along on those rare occasions when things actually work out well for him) has somehow made the North Korea brain trust afraid. Very afraid.

Buy that? If so, let me tell you about this antique bridge in New York that I weirdly discovered I inherited all the rights to.

Kim Jong-Un was said by Rudolph the Bald Head Lunatic to be on his knees begging for a summit with Trump. That, I buy! Hell, yes, the North Koreans are begging to meet with Trump. But not for the reasons Rudy Patootie implies and not for the reasons Trump supporters so desperately wish. Those guys over there are jumping for joy, backslapping, high-fiving and wandering around in a daze wondering how they go so lucky to win the lottery. The lottery of Trump somehow benefiting from a corrupt campaign, the kookiest method for counting votes in ANY country much less any democratic country, and congenital stupidity of more 60 million Americans. How on earth did they get so lucky to get the ONE thing they have aching for now for more than thirty years?

A President they can pull the strings on a like a puppet and make dance.

Obama? Nope. George W. Bush? Not even him. Clinton? Nuh-uh. They took a long look at each of those guys and tested them to see how they would react. Would the reaction of the President be exactly what was hypothesized or would there be conflicts between what they were hoping to and what they actually got. And every single time they reached a point where they couldn’t predict and didn’t know what might happen next. And so they pulled back because they didn’t want to give up too much to get what they wanted.

And then came Trump.

So, yeah, Kim Jong-Un is literally on the verge of peeing his pants to sit down with Trump. Not out of fear, however. Well, maybe a little…out of fear Trump may get shot or have a heart attack or get impeached or not get re-elected. Wasting time is not on their agenda. They want to meet with Trump and they want to meet NOW. Because they are just so excited to finally—FINALLY!—get a guy in the Oval Office they can actually make dance to their K-Pop tune.

But, hey, maybe THAT’S all part of Trump’s grandly orchestration of plan as well as the Poet of Chaos. Right?