7 Tips for a Better Day

In the mood to improve your day? Here are some tips gathered over the course of a long and fruitless life that can—nay, will—improve your day. If I had a nickel for every tip to make the day a little better, I’d be eating nickel pizza tonight.

A Better Day Tip 1:

You can save food bills by buying products like bologna, pepperoni and salami in bulk that can be sliced at home. The “chosen food” is far more expensive when bought in prepackaged form.

A Better Day Tip 2:

Is this a bad day because you are suffering from indigestion? Here is a tip to help keep your money away from the vampires that run the American health care conglomerate: drink simple peppermint tea. This will relieve your gas problems.

A Better Day Tip 3:

Your recipe calls for cornstarch, tapioca or tomato juice, but you just found out that you are completely out. It’s raining cats and dogs and, besides, the grocery store only opens two of its seven registers at any one time. Have no fear, substitutions are here. Replace a tablespoon of corn starch with two tablespoons of all-purpose flour. Tapioca? Replace it with 1.5 tablespoons of all-purpose flour. You can achieve the consistency and effect of tomato juice by mixing 1/4th cup of tomato paste with 2/3rd cup of water.

A Better Day Tip 4

If your bad day is because you have a speech looming ahead of you later in the day, consider a trick that professional speech-givers make work for them. Incorporate specific names of people that you know will be in the audience into your speech. In this way, you can ensure that at least a handful of people are going to sit up and pay attention to what you’re saying. Another tip: avoid the opening joke and dive right into the introduction.

A Better Day Tip 5

If you’ve never had good luck in applying molding to your lower walls, here’s a good tip that will have you molding all your walls. Use oval-headed nails to attach the molding to the baseboard instead of attaching it to the floor. Attaching molding in this way will provide you with longer lasting molding since it allows the floor to expand and contract without pulling the molding away from the wall.

A Better Day Tip 6

Relieve back pain not by taking more medicine, but by doing an exercise. Press your back against the wall and keep your feet shoulder-width apart. Slowly slide down the surface of the wall until your thighs are parallel to the floor. Hold for a count of five and then slowly rise. Repeat five to ten times. This movement should lessen your back pain.

A Better Day Tip 7

You really should not be mowing the lawn while it is damp, but if you absolutely must, here is a little tip to make it go much more smoothly. Spray the lawn mower blades with vegetable oil. This will reduce the potential for the blades to become clogged with grass.