Golf is not one of those games that you master overnight. Even Tiger Woods learns a little something new every time he leaves some strange woman’s boudoir to head out to the fairway. Learning to play golf is a thing that could potentially take up most of the rest of your life. If, you know, your life is meaningless. Seriously, though, every extra bit of intelligence you can gather about how to improve your golf game is worth writing down and placing in your golfing bible. Whether that bible be a spiral notebook or the Apple iPad, you’ve got to write down what you learn immediately and keep referencing it. Who knows, maybe one day you too can get on the cover of the National Enquirer just like Tiger.
Golf Tip Number 1:
Every once in a while you will find yourself facing a ball that must be hit from a downslope. Keeping in mind the immortal words of Ty Webb that you must (na-na-na-na-na) BE the BALL, here is a tip worthy of remembrance. Grasp the club down a little (fa-fa-fa-fa-fa) down the handle so that you can will avoid hitting the ground behind the ball. Stand with your feet wide apart so that let movement is kept down to the bare essentials. Aim to the left of the target if you are a right-hander and to the right of the target if you are sinister.
Golf Tip Number 2:
They say that great pitch shots are created and not made. They also said that an idiot from Alaska would never run for Vice-President of the United States so you know what you can do with THEM. Pitch shots can be learned and you may well spend the rest of your golf life learning how to do it. Keep in mind that immortal words of Judge Smails and offer up a Fresca to anyone who tells you that balance is not one of the most important elements in an effective pitch. A great pitch shot is combination of two essentials. Besides balance, you must also have perfect tempo. In fact, you should spend almost all your time practicing a pitch shot in perfecting the tempo. The first move goes low and slow. From that point until you look up again to the green, maintenance of the tempo is the key. Be the ball. Be the tempo, Betty. Balance and tempo, Danny, that’s what a great pitch shot is all about.
Golf Tip Number 3:
Quick question: Why would you choose a number 8 or 9 iron club? When you need to hit the ball high and with no small degree of accuracy. Put the 8 and 9 irons away if you are trying to go for distance. It’s a waste of time and effort. Golf includes the strangely wedged 8 and 9 shapes for a specific purpose and often those purposes get lost for newbies, beginners and Johnny-Come-Latelies. You can’t get distance from those sharp angles on the 8 and 9 irons. Use these guys when you need to put some serious air beneath the ball, but not at the expense of accuracy. So, the answer to why you would choose and 8 or 9 iron club is: when you are in a sand trap, high rough or behind a tree.
Hey, how ’bout a Fresca?