‘Thankskilling’ as Alternative a Thanksgiving Movie Choice as Possible

Keep in mind that Thanksgiving comes less than a month after Halloween. Even so, that’s no reason to turn Thanksgiving into yet another day offered up for sacrifice to gods of Hitchcock and Carpenter. “Thankskilling” didn’t need to be made, but since it was, some of you may want to spend your Thanksgiving Day watching it. Most of you will not.

Those who love incredibly awful movies with no redeeming value whatsoever will ensure themselves the best Thanksgiving since that year that thing happened that time — you remember! Let’s put it this way: The first image to come onscreen in “Thankskilling” is an enormous closeup of an enormous breast. The mammary in question belongs to a pilgrim lady running in fear for her life. A foulmouthed turkey complements her before exacting revenge. Since the first Thanksgiving did not feature turkey, well, do the math.

To be perfectly honest, it is difficult to determine whether the acting by everybody but the turkey is really bad or whether it is supposed to be a parody of bad acting. Let’s go back to the statement that this movie is both awful and has no redeeming value. That may not be true. But it’s really hard to tell.

From one perspective, you cannot help but think that nobody is capable of acting this badly without realizing. Continuing on that pathway is the fact that just about every single stereotypical cliché of slasher movies is hit over the head in “Thankskilling.” From the opening scene that is there solely for the purpose of nudity to the casting of what looks like 30- and 40-year-olds as 20-something college students to the over the top bad acting of the story’s requisite slut — everything seems bad on purpose.

When approached on this level, “Thankskilling” is actually more enjoyable than, say, “Lord of the Rings” or “Twilight.” The first few minutes you spend with the main characters is nothing less than torture, but once you get used to the bad acting and accept it as being integral to the sense of humor at work here, you should be able to make it through “Thankskilling” without much pain. Keep in mind that “Thankskilling” is likely one of those movies much more easily enjoyed with a group of people than by yourself.


And somebody sign up that dinosaur-looking crazed turkey. He’s got IT. Talent, Jack Nicholson-style personality, and a grin so wicked the Joker would wet his pants in envy. The scene in which the daughter mistakes the psycho turkey for her father is actually extraordinarily funny; if you watch no other scene in “Thankskilling,” make sure you watch that one. Do not be surprised to find the killer turkey on the cover of People as the fiancé of a Kardashian one day.